When I put a name as the blog entry title, what do you think I do it for? Attention, simplicity, or perhaps because I'm not that creative? Normally, I'd make a joke about all of those being true, but this is too important. I tell you their names and put them as the title because I want you to know that these are real people. These are human beings with faces and names, they matter to G-d; they matter to me. If everyone else in the world forgets their names and forgets their faces, there will always be me and those who read this blog to read and remember these people.
Today I was coming home from church and I was going to consummate my five week-running desire for a burrito from either Chipotle or Qdoba. Due to the construction on the Green line, all the stops on Lake and Wabash are closed down, which makes finding the Chipotle I've been to really difficult. I had just got off at the Jackson stop on the Blue line to transfer to the Green line when I realized that there had to be one of the two burrito places around. I began walking toward the Green line entrance because I knew there was one nearby, but as I kept walking it became clear I was on the wrong street. I was about to turn around and give up when a man waved at me and started asking me for a moment of my time. He told me how he was hungry and only had a dollar...
This week I have a much tighter budget and I really only had money enough to either help this man or get my burrito. I don't say that to brag about how selfless I am, because a part of me is still kind of moping that I didn't get my burrito- I just wanted you all to know that this wasn't just me giving out of my excess and that this was nothing for me. We crossed the street and went into a Dunkin' Donuts. He looked over the dollar menu and picked out four items, then after the cashier had already swiped my card, decided he wanted an orange juice. David (that was his name) was not making this thing easy. We stepped outside and he thanked me, told me my jacket looks like a cat was rolling in it (because of my hair shedding on it), then asked me if it was possible to get one more thing. Really, David, you want one more thing? We stepped inside Dunkin' Donuts again and he ordered two more things off the dollar menu. He then walked over to the cooler and pulled a Coke out and I was reluctantly willing to buy it for him. When the cashier returned with his second bag of food, the Coke was gone, and then we walked out. That's when I noticed where the Coke had gone. David had stuffed the Coke into his pants pocket and was casually walking out.
I don't know if I should have done something there. A younger me would have yelled at the present day me for being so morally depraved as to watch theft and do nothing. Younger me probably would have even gone so far as to compare it to Kitty Genovese, but petty theft like that just doesn't seem to be the kind of thing I want to make a scene over. Perhaps I should have gone back inside after he left and explained to the cashier what I had witnessed and offered to pay for the Coke after the fact. Now that I think about it, that sounds like the most diplomatic way to handle a ethically ambiguous situation. As I walked towards the entrance to the Green line, I turned back and saw that David was now standing outside the liquor store on the corner and asking people for money (I assume).
Oh, and did I mention that I found a Qdoba? Yeah, turns out it was on the corner and that when I had decided to turn around and give up (until David flagged me down) that I had been just a few steps short of seeing it. I didn't beat myself up too hard over it though, since it was closed anyway.
Now for the painful part of this blog entry. I have a confession to make which may not make sense until I explain and others who read it may be fuming with rage over my foul-up. Those of you who have been reading this blog or have caught up to now will recall Kateja, the 20 year old mother to-be who has no home and no job. I have not followed-up with the information my church gave about ministries who can directly help her get some stability. I could make excuses about how the past two and half weeks I've been having frequent migraines and such, but in reality I have become comfortable. I let my busy, cushy, and comfortable life prevent me from standing in brokenness over the injustice of Kateja's situation. I have sinned against G-d and against my sister, Kateja.
Lord, have mercy on me for allowing myself to become too comfortable that I have neglected a sister You put in my path. I confess to You before all those who read this blog entry that I have sinned and not done the work You called me to do. Forgive me, Lord.
Until that day comes when You will, "wipe every tear from their eye" and there will be no more pain; I cry out to You... O Lord, how long, Lord?
James
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